


Designated Driver

by nospacescannotbeginorendwithunserscore



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Drinking, M/M, Might make this multichapter but for now its a one shot, Seventeen - Freeform, angsty, but they get over it, cute friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 01:09:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15718809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nospacescannotbeginorendwithunserscore/pseuds/nospacescannotbeginorendwithunserscore
Summary: Just another evening between best friends.





	Designated Driver

Lulling himself into a calm state, Mingyu stared at the road ahead. The car rocking in the most comforting of ways as he let his head roll against the seat behind him. The leather cushioning him as he folded his body into being almost one with the seat. The colors of the world around him merging as his eyes fell heavy. Neon store signs mixed with the white gaze of the cars rushing past every once in a while. A soft crinkling began, he focused his eyes open enough to see the beginning a storm that had been talked about for weeks finally making its appearance. He smiled, turning to look to the driver. His being taking on a red haze as they waited behind a stopped car. He stared openly and happy, them being the only two in the car. Watching as the drivers gaze moved ever so slightly, as he licked his lips when he focused especially hard on a turn, as he made even the most micro of movements; Mingyu just watched. 

The two had decided to take advantage of the free evening and go out for a drink, a regular pattern of use of their free time. Although, Mingyu may had been especially overzealous in a particular vintage the waitress had introduced them to and in the end had gotten too caught up in his excellent company to notice just how much he had to drink. By the time they left the establishment, mere moments before the listed closing hours, Mingyu had needed his friends help as a necessary anchor to stabilize their short walk to the valet out front; a pair of hands had comfortably supported his shoulder and waist as they waited.

Black hair swarmed the others face, hanging over his cheeks and eyes in a way that created the question of if he could even see the road. Both hands securely folded over the steering wheel, a series of rings shimmering upon each street light they passed. Blue lit up the underside of his face thanks to the radio, until the red haze returned again, a red light this time. Mingyu felt red. Red and tired. The driver returned his gaze. 

“What?” Minghao smiled at him, a teasing lilt in his voice as he looked to his intoxicated friend who seemed to be smashing his face into a pout against his own headrest. Slowly though, Mingyu broke into a smile and shrugged, giggling as though he made an inside joke with his self. Red to Green, and Minghao’s attention was lost and Mingyu returned to his pouting state. 

“Look at me.” Mingyu mumbled.

“I would love to but I’m busy making sure we don’t crash and die.” Mingyu huffed in response. Looking away from his friend and out onto the dark road. The rain was coming down steadily at this point. Windshield wipers working with as much force and glee as a childs goodbye to a beloved relative. He made a point to very exaggeratedly cross his arms. Minghao snorted. “Next stop, I’ll look at you.” He chuckled, reaching to give a pat to Mingyu’s thigh before returning his hand to the wheel. Mingyu mimicked him, reaching over patting his thigh before returning his hands to his chest as he once again pressed his cheek into the seat to allow his focus on to, who might very well be the only person in Mingyu’s intoxicated world, Minghao. . 

Silence took the car for a few minutes, they were probably half way home, but honestly time did not seem particularly real in Mingyu’s mind at the moment. Nothing felt real, he felt too good at the moment to feel real, even if nothing was happening. “Hey, Hey Minghao.” He spoke slowly, his words carefully slurred in a way that was still distinguishable. A grunt was the only response received, but Mingyu carried on.. “You’re my best friend, in the whole-- world.” His eyes were getting heavy again, a wide, sentimental smile taking over his features. 

Minghao blindly reached over, trying to pat the drunken man on the head. He eventually achieved his goal after accidentally batting him in the face a few times. “Yeah, and you’re mine.”

“I am yours.” Mingyu mumbled, his eyes getting more and more heavy. He felt a hand reach over to him for the third time that night, and a voice telling him not to fall asleep because no one’s gonna carry his giant ass up to the dorm. Mingyu didn’t want to but he listened, the only thing keeping him awake was his will to make Minghao happy by listening, and in addition, being allowed to stare at Minghao without being interrupted for a few more minutes might as well be a perk.

He continued to smile dumbly.

Mingyu was enamored. He wasn’t always aware, but his drunken, honest self knew. It was a little sad, he had become accepting of it. Sitting in a car with some jazz playing at a whisper level under the heavy raindrops of an oncoming thunderstorm and the last thing being seen before a heavy sleep tried to consume him being his beautiful, best friend. He knew. He knew the warm feeling in his gut wasn’t something to be ignored. 

The happiness he felt in seeing Minghao smile and laugh. The lust he pushed aside every time he focused his attention to even the most casual of touches between friends. How his focus would always turn from the rest of the world to this one person. He knew. 

The alcohol just gave him the excuse of acceptance. To allow this image of happiness and security of being some of the most important people to one another and ignore the absolutely improbability of them ever being happy in the way most couples would be given. Instead he knew, they would walk upstairs and Minghao would complain but never lack the caring nature of making sure Mingyu got into bed comfortable and safe, and while that was it, Mingyu would be happy with only that. 

At Least that's what he assumed until Minghao stopped the car and said they should wait for the rain to let up a little. Mingyu hadn’t even noticed that is was pouring, even though the noise was absolutely monstrous in nature. The walk to the dorm wasn’t far, but Mingyu knew both of them would rather not completely ruin their clothes and shoes in favor of just waiting a couples minutes. 

So focused on his own thoughts, and registering his surroundings in a very delayed way Mingyu hadn’t even noticed Minghao smiling at him. “What”.He finally realized. 

“You said you wanted me to look at you.”

Mingyu pushed his lips out in a frown. He loved having Minghao’s complete, unbothered attention but he would never let the other know to what extent he felt. 

Mingyu felt Minghao look him up and down. “You look good tonight, where’d you get the coat from?” Minghao had gotten it. Mingyu had been waiting for a night out with said gift giver before wanting to premiere the coat to the public.

“It was a gift from some really stupid, ugly person.” Mingyu teased.

Minghao snorted. “You really are tipsy aren’t you. If you were sober you be cursing more~” 

“Fuck you.” 

They giggled. 

They sat in silence for a bit as Minghao turned to stare out the front windshield. Mingyu’s gaze unbothered as he just watched his friends profile

“You called me ugly, but you can’t seem to keep your eyes off of me, hm.” 

Minghao knew. They both knew he knew. They had never talked about it, but their was always this untalked about pull between them that Mingyu would make painstakingly obvious to the others, especially after a few drinks. 

Mingyu didn’t know to what extent Minghao knew, if he knew how far Mingyu’s dreams went, or if he just thought it was a simple affection that was meant between friends had turned into a simple school boy crush that only had been magnified by how much time they spent together. But what they did know is that they didn’t want to ruin anything. Their team, their friendship, their lives, their dynamic, it all depending on them ignoring the unspoken and carrying on. 

Mingyu closed his eyes, too lazy to turn his whole body. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He had to speak up, the rain was too loud. 

Upon opening his eyes he was greeted by the shittiest of grins from his best friend who moved to be right in front of face. He looked beautiful. With that, Minghao almost receive an automatic slap to face out of instinct, but Mingyu was too tired to move his face and ended up just flopping around in his seat thanks to still being buckled in. He then realized that was unnecessary since they were parked, and unbuckled and yelled about how stupid Minghao was, only to receive obnoxious laughter as a response. 

“Shut up!”

“Never.” Minghao proudly huffed. 

Eventually a silence took over the air again. “Should we just make a run for it, I don’t know how long this is supposed to last.”

“No. I don’t feel like seeing everyone else just yet, kind of want some alone time.”

“Do I not exist, or should I just leave you in the car.”

Minghao laughed. “Shush, you’re an exception to my rule.”

“What does that mean.”

Minghao just shrugged. 

Mingyu sat up in his chair, he didn’t feel as tired as before. He couldn’t see anything in the neighborhood around them. Lights were off and the rain was heavy enough to hide anything even directly in front of their car. Minghao had turned off the car a while ago, it was dark inside and outside. He could only make out Minghaos person since his eyes had already gotten used to the darkness, and a very lowly lit street light gave enough of an orange sheen to help identify the depth inside the car. 

“You’re my best friend, Mingyu.” He reached to the side, setting a hand over Mingyu’s forearm. Mingyu looked at him confused. “That’s why.. I can deal with you easier. You I can be around and I don’t feel immediately drained of all energy.”

Mingyu could feel his face getting warm and suddenly was thankful for their dark setting. 

He wasn’t sure how to react so he felt that setting the opposite arms hand on top of Minghao was the correct response. Slowly they both slid away from one another, staring forward, in silence. 

“Minghao.”

“Hm.”

“You’re amazing.”

Minghao snorted. “Shut up, you’re just messing with me now because I said some cheesy shit.”

“Shut up, you’re making fun of me trying to actually compliment you.” He covered his face with his hands, letting out an exasperated sigh. 

“I highly doubt you, Kim Mingyu, would give me a non sarcastic compliment.” Mingyu shoved him. “Why would you think I’m amazing anyways, other than my dashing good looks and infinite talent.”

“Yeah, you’re right… I wouldn’t give you a compliment because you’re head doesn’t need to get any bigger.” They chuckled together for a while. “No, but seriously… it’s really nice having you around. You just, you make day to day difficulties easier for me… for everyone I’m sure. You just, you make me happy.”

Mingyu refused to look at Minghao and he didn’t hear him make a response. But slowly he felt a hand connect with his. 

“...likewise.” His voice was quiet, but Mingyu could hear a lilt of happiness. “Yah, Mingyu?” Mingyu grunted. “How sober are you?”

“I’m aware of who I am and what I’m saying, I’m just… more forward I guess. But don’t ask me to walk straight.” or be straight. “Why do you ask?” 

“Just wanted to make sure this wasn’t just cause the alcohol was making you all giddy.”

“Naw, that’s all you, buddy.” 

They were still holding hands, and it was taking a lot of self discipline for Mingyu to not react weirdly and ruin this calm setting they had created for themselves. Mingyu could feel Minghao’s thumb roll across his wrist, it gave him goosebumps in the best possible way. He exhaled in content giving a small squeezed to the tips of Minghao’s fingers that hugged into his palm. 

He wished he could tell him. He wishes he could see how the scenario would play out. Would Minghao rush out of the car yelling rude words and telling him he wishes he never had let Mingyu into his life? Unlikely, but still a possibility that plagued Mingyu’s mind. Would he freeze up and slowly remove Mingyu from his life as he limited any and all interaction between them for the rest of their careers. Or maybe he wouldn’t mind…. Mingyu never stayed on that possibility for too long just to limit the likeliness of him taking a chance on love. 

Mingyu wanted to be realistic, but he wanted to tell him. Should he tell him he likes boys first and see how he’d react to that or should he just go all in and admit the crush that’s plagued him for the past year. He should just move on. But with the little bit of courage he had from wine that fought his reasonability he really just wanted to get this off his chest, at least to the person he’s closest to. He wanted to do something stupid.

“Mingyu.” 

“Huh.” He looked over to Minghao.

“You alright? You were just really quiet… and you looked pretty lost in thought for a while there.”

Mingyu’s automatic response was to start laughing obnoxiously loud, snatching his hand from Minghao’s to pat down his own hair. “Oh, yeah. Uh. It’s nothing. I’m just trying to figure out something.”

Minghao snorted, a look of confusion on his face. “You wanna talk about it.”

Mingyu laughed again, very forcefully before quietly mumbling into the rain. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” Minghao waited patiently, letting Mingyu sit in his loud thoughts during this loud storm while Minghao sat with both his hands in his lap. “I, I just don’t really know how to start talking about this.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to force yourself.”

The realization of how long they had just been sitting in the car had become more apparent with the longer their pauses became.

His mind debated the following possibilities in his head more and more. Mingyu enjoyed this silence with Minghao, but with the thoughts that kept appearing in his head he just felt more tense. He had been wanting to talk about it to someone for so long and the alcohol just gave him the push he needed to begin talking about his self. 

After much deliberation, Mingyu just thought to himself, Fuck it.

“I just want you to know that what I’m saying I’m completely aware of, and the alcohol just gave me the courage to actually talk to you about it.” He was mumbling, fast. 

Minghao quirked his eyebrows at his sudden seriousness, leaning against the car door to turn more of his attention to the speaker.

“Like, I just, since we’re alone, and we never really get too much private one on one time. Like I mean not in public, like at a restaurant or something.”, He coughed. “We spend a lot of time together, but this is kind of serious, or maybe not, I don’t know how you’ll react to everything. Maybe you’ll just get mad for how much I’m talking before hand.” Mingyu kept trying to keep a lightness in his voice, but he has stressed, it was obvious. He kept trying to keep a smile on his face, but he hadn’t even realized he had been keeping his eyes closed, too nervous to see the others reaction as he spoke and eventually deciding to not talk about the situation. 

“I just I’ve always ignored it and that hopefully you won’t hate me or feel disgusted by me. I just, I really care about our friendship, and I’ve never confided in someone so much and I want you in my life, and I’m j-just so scared right now. and -”, He was shaking now. “No one else can know or else everything will be ruined, and all because of me, and-”, He was tearing up now. “I’m sorry if you think differently of me after this.”, Minghao looked scared now. “And just, I- I think I like, men....”

Mingyu couldn’t hear anything, just his own breathing and his heart beat in his throat. He could feel a headache coming from how focused he was on just existing at the moment. He eventually opened his eyes and looked around the car but avoided the man he was expressing his train of thoughts to. Rather than that, he just followed the water that streamed down the windshield. 

“Please,” He didn’t realize exactly how scared he was, he was shaking furiously now. “Please don’t hate me. I don’t know what I’d do if you hated me.”

“I don’t hate you.” Minghao went unheard.

“I just, I couldn’t even accept myself like this day to day. So I don’t know why you would.”

“Mingyu-”

“I don’t want to be like this-”

“Mingyu!” He didn’t raise his voice a lot, but it was enough to break through to Mingyu. He just needed Mingyu to calm down. He was basically breaking down in front of him. “Mingyu, I need you to breath. Just inhale,” He could feel Minghao grip onto his hand and shoulder, trying to stop his shaky movements.

Mingyu nodded, trying to take more steady breaths. 

“You’re alright, we’re right here. I’m not mad, I’m not going anywhere.” That seemed to help Mingyu’s questionable mind, but it didn’t stop his shaking. 

Mingyu finally looked the other in the eye, Minghao was staring at him like he was pitiful. Mingyu felt himself getting red in the face, he wanted to just come out not have all the word vomit and anxiety that came with it. 

“Shh. Shh. You’re alright.” Minghao, leaned across the seat, wrapping his thin arms around Mingyu in his bulky suit jacket. “You’re alright.”

Mingyu sniffled. “You’re not mad? You’re not embarrassed by me?”

“No, no, ofcourse I’m not.” 

Mingyu sat for a few more minutes as Minghao kept whispering calming statements to try and get him into a less flustered state. Eventually Mingyu was done to an easy going shaky breath, but much better than before. 

“Okay. Are you ready to talk more about it.”

Mingyu gave a small nod. He looked forward out the window. Ironically it seemed the bulk of the storm had ended and now the steady rain seemed to be lessening as their time in the car carried on. 

“So, you like guys?”

Mingyu nodded slowly. He hadn’t noticed but he still clutched Minghao’s hand in between both of his own. He was too tired to feel flustered about it, only thankful for the anchor to keep him calm in this emotional time. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, since when have you known?”

He swallowed his spit over and over before he finally opened his mouth his an unsteady breath to begin. “I-I don’t really know. I wouldn’t really acknowledge it, for a long time but… but over the last few years I’ve becoming more open to the idea of that being who I am.”

Nodding, Minghao squeezed his hands. “Have you told anyone else?”

Shaking his head, Mingyu let out a weak laugh. “I could-I could never. My parents wouldn’t have it, and I just haven’t trusted anyone enough to tell anyone else. I just was scared if the company found out they might cause issues for me or the group. Or just, if any of you guys would be uncomfortable realizing we’ve all lived together for years and been disgusted by me. Or, I don’t know, I just was scared.”

Minghao felt flustered watching his friend have such a rough time. He felt his own eyes wanting to well up with tears but he felt this need to be strong for him in the moment, to allow Mingyu this time of weakness to lean onto Minghao for help. But ever so he was working incredibly hard to not want to cry listening to his friend talk. He wasn’t sure what to say or how to sympathize, he just wanted him to feel better.

“Mingyu, I want you to know I will always support you. I don’t know what I can do to make you feel better or more comfortable. But I just, I want you to be happy.”

Mingyu let another ugly sob rip from his throat. He hadn’t realized how scary this was going to be, especially the sense of relief that had been constricting his stomach after revealing his life long secret. 

 

“This is so stupid. Why am I crying so much, and why are you so calm?”

Mnighao huffed. “It’s just, we’ve talked about this, love is love. The whole group has, why are you worried we’d treat you differently? You’re our friend.”

Shaking his head, he shrugged. “It’s different, we all live together, we’ve all done so much together, I don’t want any of you guys to question how I acted or treated anyone. I didn’t want all of our trainee years, or advertised skin ship to be seen as me trying to make a pass at one y’all and you guys be uncomfortable.” He hung his head. He had thought about it often.

Minghao quirked his lips, “If any of the guys thought that about you, that’s their problem, you know the truth. Plus either way, we have to put the team first. We have to be able to work together, if any of them would start talking out their ass they’d have to deal with me.” Mingyu huffed a small laugh at that. “They aren’t bad people, and you might not know how all of them will react, but we’ve been through a lot together, I think we can handle this.”

Mingyu didn’t have a response.

Minghao wanted to end this tense mood. “And another thing. We literally have 13 guys living together, if any of the members haven’t even considered the fact that its practically improbable that all of us are straight, that’s their own problem.” Mingyu smiled at that.

“Just know you’re fine the way you are.”

He hadn’t realized how exhausted he was until Minghao said those words to him. The thing he had been waiting to hear for so long. That he’s fine the way he is.

“Did you ever think, I was gay?” He gulped. “Do you think anyone would find out just by the way I act.”

Minghao bit his lip before nodding slowly. Mingyu looked scared, he couldn’t handle people knowing, people suspecting. It scared him what would be said about him.

“Look it’s not like anything you did made it seem like it, it’s just, you’re my best friend. I see you more than other people, I know you better than other people. You don’t need to be worried about the public finding out.” That seemed to help him calm down. 

“If anyone ever does anything to make you feel inferior because of this, just tell me. I want you to be comfortable with who you are.” 

Mingyu felt star struck. Minghao really was such a kind soul, he felt unworthy of such a friend. 

“Thank you.”

“I shouldn’t be thanked for not reacting like a dick.”

Mingyu smiled back, his eyes feeling heavy again. “Shut up, you know what I mean. I just haven’t been able to tell anyone about this for so long. I’m just so happy you are in my life.”

Minghao gave a small smile, before turning to the window. “I guess we can head inside whenever you’re ready. Or do you want a few more minutes.”

Shaking his head lazily, Mingyu collected his belongings. “I want nothing more than to pass out and hopefully wake up and realize this interaction actually happened and that you’re still my best friend.”

“You’re cheesy.”

He shrugged a response. “You love it.” And with that they got out of the car, in a now sprinkling rain, and went up to their apartment. Before opening the door though, Mingyu stopped, “Hey, I just want to make sure you know, I don’t want anyone else to know.”

Pulling his hand across his lips like a zipper, Mingyu smiled back at him before they went back to their reality.

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to talk about my own situation and basically I just projected myself onto Mingyu a shit ton... anyways I hope you liked it, It's probably really rough but I just wanted to finally post this, it was kind of a stream of consciousness so sorry if it's messy.


End file.
